Relationships

Changing Nature of Parent-Child Relationships

“The miracle of children is that we just don’t know how they will change or who they will become.”

The fine art of parenting requires that we play many roles in the lives of our children. As parents, we are called upon to be responsible, set limits, give good advice, and be sensitive to the needs of our children. However, because children are in a continuous state of growth and change, long-term success as a parent requires that parents also undergo a process of constant learning and change so that our parental skills do not become obsolete.

The world is not the same, like that of our Childhood:

All we have to do is look around our homes and businesses at the fast-evolving technology to understand that things have changed. Our children must be competent to compete in a very different world than we had to conquer, and for this, they will require different skills and resources. Sometimes, kids have a better understanding of what they need, than we do. Parents must, therefore, be smart enough to view the world through their child’s eyes, and then, be willing to help that child find a way to solve problems that will work for them.

Each child – find their path to success and happiness:

History can confirm that few if any parents, have ever been successful in deciding what will make their child happy as an adult. Even when we are partially right, the wise parent should avoid making decisions which will keep them in their child’s path of blame.

A parent’s job – to strengthen their child:

The truth is that it is hard for kids to compete in today world. They have many decisions to make and skills to master in a world which is regularly changing. As parents, we can either serve as a springboard of encouragement and support for our kids. Else we can stand on the sidelines providing criticism and doubt.

Who said parents and children could not be friends? 

Words of anger often include the phrase, ‘I’m your parent, not your friend’. These words are usually, uttered when parents feel a lack of respect and a need to “pull rank”. However, the family therapist contends that the relationship between parent and child must be, based on the expectation for a strong, and mutual lifelong friendship. It does not mean that children get to make all of their own decisions. It means that when parents need to make unpopular decisions, the child understands that the parent is not doing so to be mean.As parents, it is our responsibility to see that our children have a variety of learning experiences. Some will be easy; others will be quite difficult. Parents can best help their children by simply standing behind them. We can’t live their lives for them, but we can watch our children from the sidelines. Most importantly, our children need to know that we are cheering for, and not against them.


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